What am I, made of money?

I know many people have felt this way. It just seems that you need money the most when you have the least amount of it, or you are trying to stretch what little you have. My DH has recently lost his job and has not received his first unemployment check yet or even for that matter his paperwork saying he will be getting unemployment. You see he was fired because he got sick. I think I blogged about this in an earlier post. Well, anyway the 2 oldest kids come to us today and start reminding us about all the money they need by the end of the week. The oldest our DS will be getting a job cleaning the schools for the summer after he graduates. He needs 2 $10 money orders so they can run the back ground checks on him. He also needed last week $40 for his prom tickets and we still have to pay $100 for his tux. Our oldest DD needs $13 to go on a filed trip. They also both informed me that they need packed lunches. I know this seems trivial, but they both get free lunch at school and I don't generally keep a lot of that kind of stuff laying around so I will have to go and buy stuff for them to eat. What made me so upset about all of this is our DS, who is 19 is always lately not following the house rules. You see he got this new girlfriend and it really is the first one he has been totally gaga over. He stays out past curfew and comes and goes as he please without telling us. I hate that. Ok, so I am over protective and I know many will say, hey, he is 19 after all. Well, he is, but he isn't. He's more like 14, when it comes to some things. He is in a special class at school and he has ADD and a learning disability. He is a good kid, just not thinking things through right now. I got off track a little, the point is when i call him on these things he tells me, I am a grown up! Yeah, right, ok. So after he informed me of this money I said, hey where is that $5 you got for Easter? He quietly says, spent it. On what, I say? On sodas. ON SODAS! ( I thought this, but said this) On sodas? You have soda here, at the house. Yeah, I know. Let me explain that he bought the sodas at the campground about a half mile from our house. He left our house and rode his bike there, just to spend $5 on sodas. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I got mad. I asked him who was suppose to pay the $20 HE needed for the back ground check for HIS job. He just looks at me. I hate when he does that. I said, it isn't my job, or your dad's. It is YOUR job. You should have saved that $5 and used it to put towards this money you knew you had to have. Well, he says, I just thought you would pay for it. I then threw back at him, but you are a GROWN UP, and grown ups pay their own way. I asked him what he would do if we didn't pay it, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, then I won't work. I thought to myself, like hell! The I asked him if I should make him chose between his tux and the job, he just looked at me and then shrugged his shoulders, UGHHHHHH!!!!! Where did I go wrong? I mean it isn't like my kids have gotten everything they have wanted. The exact opposite, so where did he get this attitude that he deserves for us to pay for everything. I felt bad then because DD was sitting on the couch counting her change and offered to give it to us towards her school trip. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! She has her moments. LOL I explained to her that her and DS are different. He is suppose to be a grown up and learn to handle things and start to pay his own way in life and she is 13 and still dependant upon us.
This all brings me to another problem. do we make him pay to live here after he graduates. I want to say yes, so he learns responsibility and about bills. I think when I say this to others they think I am horrible. I by no means want to take his entire pay. I also don't want to see a whole paycheck spent on SODA! When I was a kid, around 15 and worked, my Mom sorta stopped buying me clothes and stopped paying for my haircuts and I used my own money for going with friends and the such. I moved out when I was 17 and married so after that I was on my own. I don't know how it would have worked if I had stayed, but I assume she would have made me pay. What do you think?

Not enough hours

We had so much to do this weekend

and there just wasn't enough hours in the day. My youngest DD had a Girl Scout event to attend, so we started our weekend with that. It was at the mall and they walked from one table to the next doing crafts.  Our oldest DD went as well. When we were finished there we went and got some lunch and then went to the thrift store right next door. I had asked for some soda tabs on Freecycle for a craft project I am doing and we needed to run and get them. After that we came home in the hopes that my DH and DS could get on our roof to do some repairs. We live in a mobile home that is in very bad shape.  Due to some unfortunate events that have happened in the last couple of years we could not afford to keep up the repairs on our home nor could we afford to move into another home or a rental house.  We have gotten some materials from Freecycle that has enabled us to start doing some repair work on the roof. At the time being we have a 3 foot hole in our roof. We have put metal and plastic over it, but all that has just been temporary fixes. The plastic ripped away during the last storm we had and the metal sheeting didn't work as well as we had hoped. Anyway when we got home our DS had run into town with a friend and was not home and did not return home until it was too late for DH and DS to get on the roof. Of course it started to rain. Isn't that Murphy's law? We have quite a few buckets and bowls catching the rain at the moment. I think we may be just as wet inside the house as it is outside. Well, this project will have to wait unti drier weather. My DH and DS decided that they would begin on the next project needing done. They went and purchased a new hot water heater. I decided I needed a nap. I was just so tired. My DH and DS arrived back home around 9pm. We had planned on going out for a drink with a friend so I got up and decided to get ready. We went out for a few drinks and ended up getting breakfast before returning home. We hadn't been out like this for a very, very long time. It was very relaxing. It was very late when we got home, or early depending on how you think. It was about 3:30am. I went almost right to bed and slept like a log. We woke up this am and ran to get the parts for the water heater we bought yesterday and needed to be put in today. We grabbed something to eat and picked up some more shingles we got off of Freecyle. In case anyone is interested you can find your local Freecycle at http://www.freecycle.org/. After getting home my DS and my DH went to work on the old water heater. It had been leaking and had almost fallen through the floor. Now we have a big hole in the closet floor. My DH is just going to lay a board over the old floor because we do not plan on being here longer than another year and really don't want to put any more money than we have to into the house. I am hoping they will at least get the water heater in before tonight. Must try and find those missing extra hours or learn to slow time. Maybe split ourselves in half. Until any of this is possible we will make the best out of the time we have.

P.S. As I was finishing this up my DH came to inform me he needs another part and all of the stores are closed because it is sunday. No hot water tonight, no water at all. One more project left undone. He will have to get the part after work tomorrow and finish it up then.

Bad day

Feeling very agitated today. Not sure why, but I just am. It could be that I have stopped taking my "happy pills" They have side effects that my husband doesn't like and then he is unhappy. So I guess I just feel that I have to pick between 2 lesser evils. The problem is to make him happy one way means making everyone unhappy in a other way. I know I am being mean, I know I am being a nag, but I seem unable to stop. I get unhappy about one thing and then it is a snowball effect. The thing is I don't even know for sure what it was or is that is making me so unhappy. I know I am unhappy and frustrated with myself a lot. My house is too small and in such bad shape and I try to see the bright side of things and be grateful for what I have and know others are in worse shape than I am, but I just get angry. I hate living like this and I swear if one more person tells me to look at the bright side and make due with what I have I will scream. Or if i hear someone say give up one of your luxuries. Let's see, is heat a luxury, how about electricity, maybe food, that for sure is a luxury. Car insurance, that is definitly a waste of money. Who needs it. Rent, who likes paying that.The health insurance my husband pays through work could go. We don't really need to go to the dr.'s. Wait, I got it, the gasoline my husband uses to go to work. We do eat out more than we should and we rent movies. I have internet and we each have a $30 a  month prepaid cell phone. I guess these are all luxuries. We wouldn't die without them.  I make due every day. I shop at the thrift stores, and yard sales. we don't have cable or satelite. I have internet an watch TV online. My husband does buy me craft supplies to try and keep me busy. I try and see the bright side all the time. What I find hard is that nothing seems to change or get brighter. I don't even want to try anymore. I just want to live in my own little bubble and forget the rest of the world even exists. I think if I can keep the outside world at bay at least things won't get any worse. I can handle the now, it is the tomorrow that scares me. I wonder if it is a PTSD thing or if I just really am a miserable, ungrateful person who wants to be handed everything in life. Maybe I really am just lazy and hopeless. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Gotta get back on track. The pity party is over!