What am I, made of money?

I know many people have felt this way. It just seems that you need money the most when you have the least amount of it, or you are trying to stretch what little you have. My DH has recently lost his job and has not received his first unemployment check yet or even for that matter his paperwork saying he will be getting unemployment. You see he was fired because he got sick. I think I blogged about this in an earlier post. Well, anyway the 2 oldest kids come to us today and start reminding us about all the money they need by the end of the week. The oldest our DS will be getting a job cleaning the schools for the summer after he graduates. He needs 2 $10 money orders so they can run the back ground checks on him. He also needed last week $40 for his prom tickets and we still have to pay $100 for his tux. Our oldest DD needs $13 to go on a filed trip. They also both informed me that they need packed lunches. I know this seems trivial, but they both get free lunch at school and I don't generally keep a lot of that kind of stuff laying around so I will have to go and buy stuff for them to eat. What made me so upset about all of this is our DS, who is 19 is always lately not following the house rules. You see he got this new girlfriend and it really is the first one he has been totally gaga over. He stays out past curfew and comes and goes as he please without telling us. I hate that. Ok, so I am over protective and I know many will say, hey, he is 19 after all. Well, he is, but he isn't. He's more like 14, when it comes to some things. He is in a special class at school and he has ADD and a learning disability. He is a good kid, just not thinking things through right now. I got off track a little, the point is when i call him on these things he tells me, I am a grown up! Yeah, right, ok. So after he informed me of this money I said, hey where is that $5 you got for Easter? He quietly says, spent it. On what, I say? On sodas. ON SODAS! ( I thought this, but said this) On sodas? You have soda here, at the house. Yeah, I know. Let me explain that he bought the sodas at the campground about a half mile from our house. He left our house and rode his bike there, just to spend $5 on sodas. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I got mad. I asked him who was suppose to pay the $20 HE needed for the back ground check for HIS job. He just looks at me. I hate when he does that. I said, it isn't my job, or your dad's. It is YOUR job. You should have saved that $5 and used it to put towards this money you knew you had to have. Well, he says, I just thought you would pay for it. I then threw back at him, but you are a GROWN UP, and grown ups pay their own way. I asked him what he would do if we didn't pay it, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, then I won't work. I thought to myself, like hell! The I asked him if I should make him chose between his tux and the job, he just looked at me and then shrugged his shoulders, UGHHHHHH!!!!! Where did I go wrong? I mean it isn't like my kids have gotten everything they have wanted. The exact opposite, so where did he get this attitude that he deserves for us to pay for everything. I felt bad then because DD was sitting on the couch counting her change and offered to give it to us towards her school trip. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! She has her moments. LOL I explained to her that her and DS are different. He is suppose to be a grown up and learn to handle things and start to pay his own way in life and she is 13 and still dependant upon us.
This all brings me to another problem. do we make him pay to live here after he graduates. I want to say yes, so he learns responsibility and about bills. I think when I say this to others they think I am horrible. I by no means want to take his entire pay. I also don't want to see a whole paycheck spent on SODA! When I was a kid, around 15 and worked, my Mom sorta stopped buying me clothes and stopped paying for my haircuts and I used my own money for going with friends and the such. I moved out when I was 17 and married so after that I was on my own. I don't know how it would have worked if I had stayed, but I assume she would have made me pay. What do you think?