Bad day

Feeling very agitated today. Not sure why, but I just am. It could be that I have stopped taking my "happy pills" They have side effects that my husband doesn't like and then he is unhappy. So I guess I just feel that I have to pick between 2 lesser evils. The problem is to make him happy one way means making everyone unhappy in a other way. I know I am being mean, I know I am being a nag, but I seem unable to stop. I get unhappy about one thing and then it is a snowball effect. The thing is I don't even know for sure what it was or is that is making me so unhappy. I know I am unhappy and frustrated with myself a lot. My house is too small and in such bad shape and I try to see the bright side of things and be grateful for what I have and know others are in worse shape than I am, but I just get angry. I hate living like this and I swear if one more person tells me to look at the bright side and make due with what I have I will scream. Or if i hear someone say give up one of your luxuries. Let's see, is heat a luxury, how about electricity, maybe food, that for sure is a luxury. Car insurance, that is definitly a waste of money. Who needs it. Rent, who likes paying that.The health insurance my husband pays through work could go. We don't really need to go to the dr.'s. Wait, I got it, the gasoline my husband uses to go to work. We do eat out more than we should and we rent movies. I have internet and we each have a $30 a  month prepaid cell phone. I guess these are all luxuries. We wouldn't die without them.  I make due every day. I shop at the thrift stores, and yard sales. we don't have cable or satelite. I have internet an watch TV online. My husband does buy me craft supplies to try and keep me busy. I try and see the bright side all the time. What I find hard is that nothing seems to change or get brighter. I don't even want to try anymore. I just want to live in my own little bubble and forget the rest of the world even exists. I think if I can keep the outside world at bay at least things won't get any worse. I can handle the now, it is the tomorrow that scares me. I wonder if it is a PTSD thing or if I just really am a miserable, ungrateful person who wants to be handed everything in life. Maybe I really am just lazy and hopeless. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Gotta get back on track. The pity party is over!

Holly day

Today was Holly day. After Holly returned home from school, Holly her Gram and I headed towards the mall. First we stopped at a thrift store. I love to thrift store shop. You just never know what you are going to find. I was looking for a few specific things, none of which I found however. I did leave with 2 toy horses for Katey and an outfit for her as well. Holly got a pair of pink corduroy pants and I also bought the game Jenga. Then we went to the mall. I decided today to use my wheelchair because my knee and my back have really been acting up lately. I think it must be the weather change. Holly pushed me for the first part of the trip. My Mom needed to get some jewelry cleaned so we did that first. Then we just kinda milled around. We went to Bed, Bath and beyond to look for a candle i had heard about. It burns at a low temp and is then poured onto the skin and becomes massage oil. They didn't have it there. They I asked if we could go to the Avenue. I looked around in there, but didn't find anything. Then we went to FYE and looked at the videos. I bought Delta Farce for Bill. It has Larry the cable guy in it. We left there and decide to go and get supper.  On our way out we had to go through boscov's. They were having a shoe sale and we looked around. Mom and Holly started trying on boots. holly found a few pairs she liked. We finally settled on a pair of boots with about a 2 inch heel and calf high. They are very, very mature looking. She LOVES them. She says they are her sassy boots. She can't wait to wear them to school tomorrow. We went to Hoss's. The food was ok, but I have sure had better. I think next time we should pick a better restaurant. However I was very hungry tonight and ate more than I should have. The last few days though I hadn't been very hungry. I made up for it tonight.We left the restaurant and headed home. Mom dropped us off and the minute the door was open Holly yells, Dad wait until you see my new boots. So much for breaking it to him gently. He thinks the boots are a lot for someone so young. I think we are both having problems seeing her grow up so fast. We decided to play a game of Jenga and then the girls went to bed. Didn't take them long to go to sleep. before they went to bed Holly thanked me for the day. She said she loves hanging out with Her Gram and I. I can honestly say I also had a great time. It was good to have a girls night out. Hope we can do it again soon.

Katey day

My 2 girls had off from school the last 2 days. It was presidents day. My son was suppose to have school, but yesterday it snowed here in Pa. and so my son also was home from school. I decided that today I would make it a Katey day. My Mom had asked me yesterday, Monday, if I would go with her on Wednesday to the mall. I decided that Wednesday will be Holly day. So the plans I had today for Katey day was to take her to get her hair thinned out. She has really long beautiful hair, but it is so thick that it was getting almost impossible to brush it, even with her special brush. I took her to the local Empire beauty school, she has had her hair trimmed about twice a year since she was about 6 months old. recently I took 3 inches off the length. 

Everyone at the beauty school had to come over and see the little girl with the long thick hair. Katey tends to be very quiet when she is surrounded by people she doesn't know. She sure does talk a lot though any other time. She would smile and nod her head when they would ask her something or she would look to me for an answer. She just laid back and was really enjoying the girl washing her hair. They asked if they could give her a 60 second conditioning treatment since her hair is so dry. They also said that it helps to prevent splint ends. I said sure. They put it in plus 2 great big handfuls of conditioner. Then she decided that it would be easier to use a comb to get all of the conditioner deep down in. It took about 20 to 30 minutes for them to brush it all the way through her hair. She just sat back with her eyes closed. She looked so relaxed. After they were done doing all of that and had rinsed her hair they took her back to the chair to start thinning her hair. People were still milling around coming to take a look. It took the hair dresser another 30 to 40 minutes to thin out her hair. She had little hair balls all over the floor. Then she took the time to braid it and put it up in a little bun. She looked so cute. I had in the mean time called Bill to see if he was done working. While I was dialing the phone Katey says don't tell Daddy it's me I want him to be surprised. I asked him if he could meet me at the beauty school and he said yes. When he arrived Katey and the hairdresser thought it would be fun to try and play a trick on Bill by telling him they cut 12 inches off of her hair. He didn't fall for it. He told me later that he knew I would never allow them to cut her hair by that much. What a smarty. We went up and paid and then I gave Katey $2 to go and give the girl who cut her hair. The students don't get paid for their work. They only make money if they get tipped. The whole hair cut and conditioning treatment only cost $11. Not bad for all of that work. We left there and took Katey for Chinese food. Her favorite. Then I wanted to run to the craft store and get some beads and other supplies. While there she got a fuzzy poster to color of a horse. She is crazy for horses. We left there and headed for home. Bill still had to run Kyle and a few others to Boy Scouts. She fell asleep for a little in the Jeep, and was a little crabby when she got home. She decided to work on her poster for a little and was very quietly coloring it. Two of the markers broke and I told her not to worry I would get her other ones. It got late so I told her to go to bed, but she started crying saying she was hungry. I let her eat a bowl of cereal, and then again told her to go to bed after she picked up her poster. She turned around and told me she had a terrible day, didn't have fun with me and that she only got to get one thing. Wow, they sure know how to hurt ya. I made her stand with her nose against the wall. Later I put her in my lap and told her how much it hurt me when she said that. I told her I knew why she said it because she didn't want to go to bed and stop coloring her poster. She said yes, and that she was sorry, but she kept crying. She got up again 15 minutes later to wipe her nose and was still crying. I asked her why and she poured out her heart to me saying that the poster she was coloring reminded her of the horse her Gram had and that she had to sell. She loved that horse. She just started crying and crying. She kept saying she misses Coacoa, wants to see her and is afraid she will never see her again. I told her that maybe she would, but she went back to bed, still upset. She did finally fall asleep and that was the end to Katey day. It started great, but didn't end the best. I am sorry her poster made her so sad. It made her think of something that still hurts her so bad. I know how much it still hurts her Gram too. They are kindred spirits those 2. Bonded by their love for horses and their heartbreak over one special horse.

Oh Happy Day!!!!!

I got internet today!!!!! I am so happy! Now I can blog, play on Facebook and look things up all from the comfort of my recliner. I can watch my Netflix! Oh I am so excited!!!!!!!! It doesn't take much for me to be appreciative. The little things mean so much when you don't have a lot! I am so thankful!

What I did on 2/18/2011

Well, my oldest, Kyle didn't have school today. He goes to a local Vo-tech school for his Sr. year. He is taking collision repair and will graduate in 3 months. I am so proud of him and can not wait to see him get his diploma. A really close friend of his, Andrew, stayed over last night and they decided to apply for a chicken catching job. My bestest, Stac, called and wanted to go grocery shopping so I decided to do everything in one long trip. I went and picked up my friend and her little boy and off we all headed. We stopped at a very small market and picked up a few groceries there and then went to look for the chicken catching place. The boys hadn't gotten very good directions so I called and had her give me the directions. We were able to find it without too much trouble. The boys said the applications were very short and to the point so it didn't take too long. The gentleman talked to them right there about what they would . I think from the way it sounds they are a little reluctant to hire the boys. Andrew has never worked, my son has had 2 jobs, one through the school and one helping a former girlfriend and her family care for horses. They are concerned that Kyle is still in school. They did say that they hire all summer long and that perhaps if they don't hire them now they will hire them later. I felt good about that. I would like Kyle to get a job now before he graduates so he has one right out of school. It is very hard in this area to find jobs so it may take awhile and they will have to take whatever they can find. After we filled out the apps we decided to go and get something to eat. I LOVE Chinese food, and so does Stac and her little guy, so that is where we went. When it was time to pay the bill and leave I gave the waitress my debit card. She came back to the table and told me it was declined. I could not believe it! I KNEW there was money there. I had used it yesterday with no problem. The 2 oldest kids' birthdays are at the end of February and the very beginning of March. We always have 1 party and usually at a small skating rink. I had booked the party and paid for it with the same card over the phone. My husband and I by no means have money laying around, so I knew how much money should be on that card and the thought that the money was gone made my heart sink. There was more than enough to cover the bill. I asked her if she was sure that it had been declined and she told me she ran it twice. I was sooooo embarrassed and very anxious. She stated then that I could pay with cash. Now if i had cash don't you think I would have paid with cash! I tried to call the bank and the phone just rang and rang. I had to ask my friend to pay my bill. I knew she would, but still hated to ask. I knew there was money on that card. We left there and drove to a local branch of the bank and checked the balance. Sure enough there was money on the card. What the heck! This had happened one other time at this same restaurant. I withdrew some money just to make sure the card was working and we decided to go to the thrift store. My friend and I LOVE to shop at thrift stores and yard sales. Other peoples junk is the best! LOL! I was able to buy a few things. While there I called my husband Bill. He was finally done working and we needed him to meet us because we were out of room for groceries in my Jeep Wrangler and needed his pick up truck because us girls were not done shopping just yet. We went to aldi's and shopped some more. After loading everything and everyone up we stopped, got a soda (all that shopping makes you thirsty) and headed back to my house. My oldest daughter was watching her oldest boy and my youngest girl. Stac hung at my house for awhile and then I drove her and her boys home. My son's friend Andrew needed a ride into McDonald's to see his girlfriend so that gave me a great opportunity to come in and use the Internet. I will be so happy when I get Internet at my house. I can't wait. After all of this running around I am glad to just sit and relax awhile. Wonder how busy tomorrow will be? I have a baby shower and a birthday party to attend. I still have a present to buy! The great thing was spring is starting to arrive. I love how warm weather and sunshine makes you feel. After the long cold winter, being able to open the windows on the Jeep and have all of that fresh air hitting you in the face is just great. I don't like the mud, but that just means the snow is melting. I hope the warm days stick around for awhile. :) I hope everyone had a great day today!

Where is the respect?

Well, once again the Reichard family found themselves at the local McDonald's. I am using the Internet and the kids did their homework, ate a snack and are playing. We have a usual spot we sit. It is by the only outlet in the place. It just so happens to be in the play room. When we arrived today, which was around 4pm, there were a bunch of teenagers sitting in our usual spot and the whole play room was full so we sat in the main lobby. No biggy, we waited until it cleared out and our spot was free and we moved. When we walked into the play area, the place was filthy! Food everywhere, the teenagers had a food fight with all kinds of Gummi worms and bears and salt and anything else they could get their hands on. They had left half eaten food all over every table, all over the floor and even on the seats. We sat in our regular spot and looked at the table across from us and clearly drawn on the table was an offensive image of men's private parts. How rude and disrespectful. Where do these teenagers get off thinking it is ok to do this where there are little kids? I of course have my almost 19 year old son with me and I looked at him and asked him if he knew how disrespectful what they had done was. He said of course. I then asked him if he knew what I would do to him if I ever found out he had done something similar to this. He smiled and nodded and said, I probably wouldn't be alive. Why were these kids allowed to do this? Where was the management? They should have been asked to leave. I think that we as parents need to teach our kids to have more respect for others. Those kids should have been given a mop, broom, cloth and spray and told to clean up the mess they had made. What do you think?

Busy day

Sorta had a busy day today. The girls went to church and when they came home we went for lunch at a local favorite restraunt. It is called Ard's and it is a working farm that is also a store and a great place to eat. They have this challenge hamburger that is 5 lbs plus a side of fries. The 5 of us go in, order the burger which costs $20 and we all eat. We are stuffed and usually bring some home. After eating we took the girls to McDonald's to play and use the internet. We then went out to Bill's Mom's to pay some money back we had to borrow to keep us from getting evicted. That is a story for another day. Then we stopped and picked up our neice and nephews. Tomorrow being Valentine's day and GirlScouts they are doing Valentines together.
I didn't sleep well last night. We used the new Kero heater for the first time last night and I was roasting. I am so use to being cold when I sleep that I could not get to sleep. That is ok, because my sleeping habits have been way out of wack for months now. I go to bed anywhere from 3 am to 8am and sleep until 1 or 3 in the afternoon. Now I hope I can go to bed at a better time and get up while the sun is still shining. We shall see.

The beginning

Well, a very close friend of mine whose blog can be found here http://redneckriver.blogspot.com/2010/11/howdy-yall.html?spref=fb recommended that I start a blog. I have been told by lots and lots of people I should write a book. I have never thought I was that interesting, but I thought perhaps what my family and I have gone through will help others. Plus this will be a place I can say what I want about anything. You will see things about my kids, my husband, my friends, my life, my crafts and anything else I can think of. I can not promise I will write every day or even every week, but I will do my best.
Let me start by telling you a little about myself. I am 37, I have been married for 19 years and have 3 children. A boy age 18 a girl age 12 and another girl age 7. My husband is 39 and works in a meat packing facility. We have been very lucky that when a lot of other people have lost their jobs in our area he has been steadily employed. I am disabled and do not work. However I use to work. I was a Home Health Aide for more than 11 years for the same company. I LOVED my job and I miss it greatly. More on that subject another day. Right now I am sitting at my local McDonald's because I do not have Internet at home. I like to come here so the kids can play and I can use their Internet. The best of both worlds. I love Facebook and try to get on their every day. I love to do crafts and do many kinds. I especially like crocheting though and I have very recently been working on some pinwheel sweaters. I found the pattern on one of my favorite websites, Crochetville. If you like to crochet this is the place to go. There are many great people there and so many wonderful things to look at and to make. I also really like to sew, but haven't done that in a few months. I make jewelry too. Beaded and chainmail. I have a favorite store I like to visit to get my beads. The name of the store is Ellacinder's and it is in Lewisburg, Pa. The owner Cindy and her daughter Lauren are 2 of the nicest people I have ever met. I think i will stop here for now. I seem to just be rambling, but this is the first time I have ever blogged. If anyone reads this tell me what kind of crafts you like to do. What are some of your hobbies? Do you have any favorite websites? Do you have a favorite store to shop for your supplies?